My Own Story

Chapter one- several memories from the past

"Don't!" she said to herself. But maybe the word is just a word. She just watch the zettai kareshi dorama --japanese drama, a story about a girl named Izawa Riiko who has Night, the ideal robot boyfriend, and asamoto soushi as her fiancee The story inspired her that life must go on, and everyone has his/her own story, so thats way she sarted to write this story.
I am her, and she is me, so it means that i write a story about myself.
I have many dreams actually. Remembering the time when i was in elementary school, i was able to make people laugh easily. I just swing my 'wand'--which was my favourite stainles steel ruler that is bought in Netherland by my mother, the first ruler that i loved it so much, in front of the class and all my friends laughed when i start the wingardium leviosa spell. It was a very great memory. But honestly, i feel that i'm different for the past few years., slightly diffferent. there was something that i forgot about who i am.
This is a memory that i remember in junior high. I had a friend, named Adys. She is a popular girl. She is very dilligent but she never got a great mark in academic.I have a story about me and her. I just wanted to kill my time actually, but it turned out to be serious. I pretended to be a senior high school boy, and send adys many sms in order to ask her to went out with me( remember, here i pretend to be Dani, a SMAN 1 male student). After several short messages, i asked her to meet me at some place where many SMAN1 students are there. She went to the meeting place, and told me that she has been arrived. I was confused about this, i cannot keep this lie forever, i have to tell her that is just a joke from the beginning. But i felt guilty because she is so excited about this meeting. Hence, i told her, that ive been busy with my friends, so i couldnt meet her,and ive known that she came. She asked what colour of clothes that i wore so she can recognize me from distant without bothering me and my friends. I replied her message that i wore a black jacket and school uniform. She replied, that she has seen me, and told me to meet next time privately. What! so in that meeting place there was a SMAN 1 guy, named Dani, wear a black jacket. I didnt know how things could match that perfectly. I havent known how to end this lie. So i just stopped send her messages, i didnt want to hurt her. But, my friend, Atul, tell it to her, that it was me who send the messages. She was so mad to me, i apologize to her, and everything went okay. I got a very great lesson here. You know, in the first time i start sending messages, its only about a joke, nothing else, i didnt choose adys specifically, i sent the messages to all of my friends in the class, but they all know that it was a joke, but adys didnt realize this. When i pretend to be Dani, i also asked her, about her opinion about me, the true me, indah, and she said that i was just an ordinary girl, nothing special. Maybe it was the time that i was hurt, because i was a girl who didnt want people think that i have been just an ordinary girl, i wanted them to consider me as an extraordinary girl, and i wanted my friend adys to be sad, because i felt hurt when she said that im just an ordinary girl, but i didnt realize that what i would do would hurt adys more. So after all, i felt i was guilty doing this to her, pretending to be a boy, because i know that she really wanted to have a boyfriend, but i will never do this anymore. This is a lesson for me. No matter how hurt you are, it is better that you dont hurt back the person who hurt you, because you wont know will it be the same hurt or more hurt. And afterall that i thought about what she said about me as an ordinary girl, maybe it didnt really mean that i was an ordinary girl, she said that because she said it to a boy that she like, haha.. of course, how stupid, she wont say that i was a brilliant girl to a boy she might like right? Anyway, that was a very good lesson.