nothing important- periodic concerns

BSEP,, Post 2 contribute, 2 inspire, & 2b inSpired

Well it seems i've got everything. But i am pitying myself over things that other got while i don't. Blood type AB said, AB will always feel lonely even though they are surrounded by many people, they can't really trust others like they trust themselves. So now here this time come, this is my first day of my period in this month.
I feel like i am the loneliest girl in the world. I have several friends here, they are good friends but i feel uneasy to visit them too long and disturbing them It feels like i'm nagging them. Well i feel i'm the only one among my friends who can understand them. I feel that i can be there when ever my friends/family needs me, but in contrary i always feel that i am always alone when i need someone by my side. This is not good, I know it, but i just cant think any other ways. Writing like this helps me a lot so i can think clearly again. I call my mom, my sister, that's the only thing that can make me happy. I treasure my family above anything else. Unlike friends, they can be called anytime and you can talk to them anytime and they will always try to help you even if they can't. I always feel this and i don't like it at all. I don't want to think about this but at the end i will always think about this. This annoys me. From my other perspective of course. Well, lets see, i have group friends who will never try to reach or call me in private if its not about badminton, except galuh, ratih, or kiki. For some people in this group, this group is very nice and they enjoy being there, but i can't feel that way. Because they haven't become my real friends until now. Just like any other professional friends. I am sick of this. Lets see another story, i consider myself to be pretty but too smart for guys to finally be brave to be with me. Every single one of them will go back slowly when they know who i really am. Some of them, who don't know the real me, chase me until now, even though i rejected them over and over. These guys, are guys with probably unclear future, that's what i think though. Well i keep raising myself everyday but i know even though i expect to have a guy who is 'above' me it doesn't mean that i don't want to be friends with you guys who are probably below me in terms of education, i still want to be your friends. hehehe. what is this? what iam talking about, its getting unclear and more unclear... At the end, i always pray that i got the best guy for me, and i hope it will be fast because i dont know whether i am strong enough not to cry making new sea in the earth because this prince has not yet come... ah i miss you so bad i miss you so so bad where are you hey my prince. Here is your princess waiting.. come and pick me up to the wonderful land where there is only me and you and happiness. hehehehehe.. This is crazy this is stupid i know, but what can i say? that's what i think. I know God near me, He is not far, He hears me, even the deepest voice in my heart that i myself may not hear, hehehe, so i will pray and always pray to Him, dont make me wait too long, make it nest year, make it this year, make it next month, make it next week, make it tomorrow, hehehe, but this is serious. Hufftt... germany.. you are getting further and further away everyday, why? we can make a great team you know. Hello BASF, hello Mercedes, why are you running away with the speed of light while i am maximizing myself using the speed of sound. Of course i cannot chase you